Deconstruction

I am about to deconstruct. Not self-destruct. Not instruct. Deconstruct.

Almost 30 years ago, I became someone's wife. Almost 28 years ago, I become someone's mother ... and then someone else's ..... and someone else's .... etc... until I was "the mother of six children" and still someone's wife.
Then I became, slowly and painfully, someone's ex-wife.
But I was and will always be " the mother of six children".

When I move, my terms of reference will vanish. No one knew my husband, or even that I was married. No one will know that I have six children - they are the best part of me. No one will know my history of leadership at my church, of volunterism in my community or my work history and skills.

No one will know my family - no one here did either - but it's yet another step removed from the 21 year old "me".

This past 10 years has been a journey towards finding "me" again - and I'm getting pretty close. I surprise myself - usually in retrospect - as in " how the heck did I ever do that?" or " what was I thinking, taking that on?". And I hope I continue to surprise myself.

But I won't surprise my new friends and neighbours - they don't know what to expect of me - if anything.

It's a heady feeling, being the master of my own fate and responsible for myself alone, at least on a day-to-day basis.

I will, of course, always be "the mother of six children".

I am growing comfortable with the idea of never being someone's wife.

Hmmmm...