Count-down

In exactly 38 days, my 4th child, my 3rd daughter - is having her wedding reception. I am tickled for her and can't wait to go - except for one thing - it means spending a good deal of time if not with, then in the same room as her father, my "ex" as they say - the man I spent 22 years married to and 8 years (so far) without. The man who, because of an indiscretion on my part, can barely speak to me - the man who left me with a huge house to sell, 6 kids to think about and a whole world of finance I knew nothing about - I'm not stupid. We just divided up the labour, literally - he did the finances and I took care of 6 children - we each did what we were good at and it worked. This past 8 years has been an eye-opener in so many ways.
But - my eyes are also open to the fact that I am 8 years old and look it - my physical status was one of the reasons he grew away from me. He couldn't understand why I wasn't lithe and 110 lb anymore. I argued that pumping six 8 -9 lb babies out in 10 years might have done something towards this but he didn't buy it. And neither did I. I had "let myself go" and the ensuing 8 years haven't given me whole lot of time or money to do much about it.
Now I'm faced with facing him.
I am at the gym 3 times a week and the electric beach the other 3 - in a mad attempt to "beautify the temple" so I can wow him. Why do I care? Do I think he'll see how hot I am and want me back? I hope not, because I don't want HIM back. So why?
Pride?
Come-uppance?
Closure?
I dunno.
I just have to do it.
Wish me luck.